LETTER FROM CAMP

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WELCOME TO The EZINE WRITER emagazine! • "Useless as a fireproof match" says Chicago Tribune! • • T h e  E Z I N E  W R I T E R • D E S I G N E D  W I T H  Y O U R  M I N D  I N  M I N D <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> |||||||||||| The EZINE WRITER ||||||||||| <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> L E T T E R  F R O M  C A M P _____________________-«{}»-_____________________ "...The reason we have to buy more bullets is Jimmy threw all of the others in the fire. It sure was a loud noise!..."   D ear Mom and Dad,   Our scoutmaster told us all to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only one of our tents and two of our sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily none us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Chad when it happened.   Oh yes, please call Chad's mother and tell her he is OK. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found him in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightening. Scoutmaster Long got mad at Chad for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Chad said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him.   Don't worry it didn't hurt anything very much, just burned part of the chow hall. Scoutmaster Long said we will have to wash the black stuff off of the meat that used to be in the cooler but he said it would be alright.   Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas can will blow up? The wet wood still didn't burn, but one of our tents did. Also some of our clothes. John is going to look weird until his hair grows back.   We will come home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Long gets the car fixed. It wasn't his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked OK when we left. Scoutmaster Long said that with a car that old, you have to expect something to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance on it.   We think it's a neat car. He doesn't care if we get it dirty, and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the tailgate. It gets pretty hot with ten people in the car. He let us take turns riding in the trailer until the highway patrolman stopped and talked to us.   Scoutmaster Long is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good driver. Especially when that wheel came off when we were going around this steep curve. In fact, he is teaching Terry how to drive. He only lets him drive on them mountain roads where there isn't any traffic. All we ever see up there are logging trucks. I'm glad Terry wasn't driving when the wheel came off. We probably would have went off the cliff.   This morning all the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out in the lake. Scoutmaster Long wouldn't let me because I can't swim and Chad was afraid he would sink because of the cast, so he let us take the canoe across the lake. It was great! You can still see some of the trees under the water from the midwestern flood of 2013, and the benefits of floods.   Scoutmaster Long isn't crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn't even get mad about the life jackets. When I can I will tell you how we lost them.   He has to spend a lot of time working on the car so we are trying not to cause him any trouble.   Guess what? We have passed all our first aid merit badges. When Dave dove in the lake and cut his arm, we all got to see how a tourniquet works. Also, Wade and I threw up. Scoutmaster Long said it was probably just food poisoning from the leftover chicken. He said they got sick that way sometimes from the food they ate in prison. I'm so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster.   He said he sure figured out how to get things done while he was doing his time.   I have to go now, we are going to town to mail our letters and buy bullets. Scoutmaster Long has a big pistol and he is going to teach us how to shoot it. The reason we have to buy more bullets is Jimmy threw all of the others in the fire. It sure was a loud noise!   It was neat though, it sounded like a bunch of bees flying out of the fire. Scoutmaster Long said not to tell any one because some of the tents got holes in them from the bullets and he said he is not supposed to have a gun but he didn't say why.   Don't worry we put duct tape over the holes in the tents. Scoutmaster Long says that is the best stuff to fix anything. He should know, the seats in his old car has it all over them, so does the dash.   Don't worry about anything. We are fine. Love, Cole   P.S. How long has it been since I had a tetanus shot? ______________________<>_____________________ This has been another useless posting from The EZINE WRITER emagazine! %%%    _________________________________________________________ Copywight 2015 - Elmer Fudd All Wights Weserved %%%    _________________________________________________________ _______________________________                     |||||| Bradley |||||| Grand poobah and bathroom attendant. mailto: EzineWriterOwner@gmail.com ________________________________ <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ______________________________ |||||||||||| The EZINE WRITER ||||||||||| Designed With Your Mind In Mind <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>   Get more! Click here for our Facebook page!   KEYWORDS: #parents, #rescue, #hair, #Scoutmaster, #patrolman, #flood, #life, #tourniquet, #bullets, #tetanus.

TWELVE STEPS TO NOT THINKING

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WELCOME TO The EZINE WRITER emagazine! • "Useless as a fireproof match" says Chicago Tribune! • • T h e  E Z I N E  W R I T E R • D E S I G N E D  W I T H  Y O U R  M I N D  I N  M I N D <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> |||||||||||| The EZINE WRITER ||||||||||| <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> T W E L V E  S T E P S  T O  N O T  T H I N K I N G _____________________-«{}»-_____________________ "..."But honey, surely it's not that serious!" "It is serious", she said, her lower lip quivering..."   I was a lot like you: carefree, happy and blissful. This was before my life took a tragic turn, a turn which I sense you are on the verge of taking. There is no help for me, unfortunately, but perhaps my story will prevent you from falling into the abyss into which I have been thrown.   It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties, now and then, just to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone. To relax, I told myself, even though I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally, I was thinking all the time.   I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Kafka and Thoreau. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What IS it exactly we are doing here?".   Things weren't going so great at home, either. One evening I had turned off the TV, and asked my wife "What is the meaning of life?". She spent the night at her mother's.   I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day, the boss called me in and said "Greg, I like you and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job". This gave me a lot to think about!   I came home early after my conversation with the boss:   "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking".   "I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce."   "But honey, surely it's not that serious!"   "It is serious", she said, her lower lip quivering. "You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money. So if you keep thinking, we won't have any money!"   "That's a faulty syllogism!" I said impatiently, and she began to cry.   I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library", I snarled, and stomped out the door. I headed out to the library in the mood for some Nitzche and NPR on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors.   They didn't open. The library was closed! To this day, I believe a higher power was looking out for me that night. As I sank to the ground, clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye.   "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers Anonymous poster. Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker.   I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's". Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job and things are a lot better at home. Life just seems...easier, somehow, as soon as I stop thinking. ______________________<>_____________________ This has been another useless posting from The EZINE WRITER emagazine! %%%    _________________________________________________________ Copywight 2014 - Elmer Fudd All Wights Weserved %%%    _________________________________________________________ _______________________________                     |||||| Bradley |||||| Grand poobah and bathroom attendant. mailto: EzineWriterOwner@gmail.com ________________________________ <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ______________________________ |||||||||||| The EZINE WRITER ||||||||||| Designed With Your Mind In Mind <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>   Get more! Click here for our Facebook page!   KEYWORDS: #life, #social, #Thoreau, #TV, #library, #Anonymous, #Porky's.