|
|||||||||||| The EZINE WRITER |||||||||||
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
O B I T U A R Y F O R C O M M O N S E N S E
______________________-«{}»-_____________________
"...Finally, when people,
too stupid to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot,
were awarded a huge settlement,
Common Sense threw in the towel..."
T
oday we mourn the passing of an old friend, by the name of Common Sense. Common Sense lived a long life but died recently in the United States. No one really knows how old he was, since his
birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes, factories helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness. For decades, petty rules, silly
laws, and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the
worm, and that life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies, ( don't spend more than you earn ), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not the kids), and it's okay
to come in second. A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends including body
piercing, whole language, and "new math."
His health declined when he became infected with the "If-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus. In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of
well intentioned but overbearing regulations. He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers. His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented
zero-tolerance policies.
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, a teen suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for
reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition. It declined even further when schools had to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but could not inform the
parent when a female student was pregnant or wanted an abortion.
Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than victims, and federal judges
stuck their noses in everything from the Boy Scouts to professional sports.
Finally, when people, too stupid to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, were awarded a huge settlement, Common Sense threw in the towel. As the end neared, Common
Sense drifted in and out of logic but was kept informed of developments regarding questionable regulations such as those for low flow toilets, rocking chairs, and step ladders.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers:
My Rights, and Ima Whiner. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
______________________<>_____________________
This has been another useless posting from
The EZINE WRITER emagazine!
%%% _________________________________________________________
Copywight 2014 - Elmer Fudd
All Wights Weserved
%%% _________________________________________________________
_______________________________
|||||| Bradley ||||||
Grand poobah and bathroom attendant.
mailto: EzineWriterOwner@gmail.com
________________________________
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
______________________________
|||||||||||| The EZINE WRITER |||||||||||
Designed With Your Mind In Mind
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Get more! Click here for our Facebook page!
KEYWORDS: the ezine writer, humor, memes, funny pics, Common Sense, United States, schools, Technological Revolution,
Ten Commandments, step ladders.
|
|
