|
|
|||||||||||| The EZINE WRITER |||||||||||
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
T E L E M A R K E T E R T O R T U R E
_____________________-«{}»-_____________________
"..."...I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort..."
O
ne thing that has always bugged me, and I'm sure it does most of you, is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as irritating as they
were to me.
The call was from AT&T and it went something like this:
_____________ ‹› _____________
Me: "Hello?"
AT&T: "Hello, this is AT&T. . . "
Me:" Is this AT&T?"
AT&T: "Yes, this is AT&T. . ."
Me: "This is AT&T?"
AT&T: "Yes, this is AT&T. . ."
Me: "Is this AT&T?"
AT&T: "YES! This is AT&T! May I speak to the head of the household please?"
Me: "May I ask who is calling?"
AT&T: "This is AT&T."
Me: "OK, hold on."
_______________ ‹› _______________
At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting:
_______________ ‹› _______________
Me: "Hello?"
AT&T: "Is this head of the house?"
Me: "May I ask who is calling please?"
AT&T: "Yes this is AT&T. . ."
Me: "Is this AT&T?"
AT&T: "Yes this is AT&T. . ."
Me: "This is AT&T?"
AT&T: "Yes, is this the head of the house?"
Me: "Yes, is this AT&T?"
AT&T: "Yes sir."
Me: "The phone company?"
AT&T: "Yes sir."
Me: "I thought you said this was AT&T."
AT&T: "Yes sir, we are a phone company."
Me: "I already have a phone."
AT&T: "We aren't selling phones today Sir."
Me: "Well whatever it is, I'm really not interested but thanks for calling."
_______________ ‹› _______________
When you are not interested in something, I don't think you can express yourself any plainer than by saying "I'm really not interested", but this lady was persistent:
_______________ ‹› _______________
AT&T: "Sir, we would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year."
_______________ ‹› _______________
Now, I am sure she meant she was offering a "rate" of 10 cents a minute but she at no time used the word rate. I could clearly see that it was time to whip out the trusty old calculator and do a little ciphering:
_______________ ‹› _______________
Me: "Now, that's 10 cents a minute 24 hours a day?"
AT&T: ( getting a little excited at this point by my interest ), "Yes sir that's right! 24 hours a day!"
Me: "7 days a week?"
AT&T: "That's right."
Me: "365 days a year?"
AT&T: "Yes sir."
Me: "I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!"
AT&T: "We think so!"
Me: "That's quite a sum of money!"
AT&T: "Yes sir, it's amazing how it adds up."
Me: "OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560, and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance?"
AT&T: "Excuse me?"
Me: "You know, the 10 cents a minute."
AT&T: "What are you talking about?"
Me: "You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making
payment."
AT&T: "Oh no sir I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute."
Me: "Wait a minute here!!! Didn't you say you'd give me 10 cents a minute? Are you sure this is AT&T?
AT&T: "Well, yes this is AT&T sir but. . ."
Me: "But nothing, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute that I'll give you 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer
you know. Don't use your alien brainwashing techniques on me!"
AT&T: "No sir we are offering 10 cents a minute for. . ."
Me: "THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please!"
AT&T: "Sir I don't think that is necessary."
Me: "Sure! You say that now! What happens later?"
AT&T: "What . . ?"
Me: "I insist on speaking to a supervisor!"
AT&T: "Yes Sir. Please hold on."
_______________ ‹› _______________
So now AT&T has me on hold and my supper is getting cold. I begin to eat while I'm waiting for a supervisor. After a wait of a few minutes and while I have a mouth full of food:
_______________ ‹› _______________
Supervisor: "Sir?"
Me: "Yeth?"
Supervisor: "I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program."
Me:" Id thish Ath Teeth & Teeth?"
Supervisor: "Yes sir, it sure is."
_______________ ‹› _______________
I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort:
_______________ ‹› _______________
Me: "No, actually I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan."
Supervisor: "OK, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you."
Me:"Thank you."
_______________ ‹› _______________
I was on hold once again and was getting really hungry. I needed to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone:
_______________ ‹› _______________
AT&T: "Hello Sir, I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan?"
Me: "Do you have that friends and family thing because you can never have enough friends and I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother. . . "
AT&T: ( click )
______________________<>_____________________
This has been another useless posting from
The EZINE WRITER emagazine!
%%% _________________________________________________________
Copywight 2014 - Elmer Fudd
All Wights Weserved
%%% _________________________________________________________
_______________________________
|||||| Bradley ||||||
Grand poobah and bathroom attendant.
mailto: EzineWriterOwner@gmail.com
________________________________
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
______________________________
|||||||||||| The EZINE WRITER |||||||||||
Designed With Your Mind In Mind
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Get more! Click here for our Facebook page!
KEYWORDS: #AT&T, #telemarketer, #phone, #calculator, #money, #supervisor, #conversation, #friends.
|
|
